6 months after the relationship broke down, on the 11/7/2014. I sent an sms regard to my ex-girlfriend asking about her condition. And it was sad to know that her father had a stroke attack a month ago and was bedridden since. The first thing I thought of myself was being helpless... All I can do is to hope that she's fine and able to take care of herself...
A month and half later, on the 25/08/2014. As I was driving in a traffic jam in the morning, I received a message from her telling me that her father passed away that morning and thanks for my concern previously... Tears ran down from my eyes and the next thing I realized, I've hit the car in front of me... I really don't know what I can do for her other than banking in some money to help her
Receiving the messaged kept me in my room after work for about a week... Didn't wanna go anywhere and not know what to do, I started cleaning up my room. And I found some stuff she left behind and I suddenly realized how a selfish bf I've been over the past 5 years. I found a dancing cow, an LED lastic that shoot to the sky and falls down with a beautiful swirling pattern and a bunch of DVDs... It's been 5 years almost 5 years we were together and she've been living in loneliness where she have to find her limited friends to walk around with her and buying toys for herself to makes herself happy and occupied.
I asked myself a few questions...
1) What have I done as a boyfriend of a girl whom loved me so much that she's willing to put down her pride and confessed to a man she loves.
2) How would it feel to have a boyfriend that has no time for her.
From her friends' point of view, her boyfriend is a caring and successful man whom buy her everything that she wanted including a smart phone, paying her car loan when she's in financial problem, buying her tires and rims when her tires went flat, servicing her car, sending her car for repair when her car involved in an accident... And all those things are money related.
But when we see things between 2 of us... what have I done to make her happy..? For the past 5 years, no travelling, no flowers, no hand drawn card and no time. Every women that I've loved or like have somehow received at least a piece of handcrafted art from me, be it a greeting card or an impromptu drawing on a coaster... But not her.. All women that I've loved or like have somehow received at least a bouquet of flowers from me, be it carnation, roses or sunflowers. For a man whom likes travelling and seeing the world, I've not even gone to the nearest city outside of KL with her..
For all the things I've done for her in the past 5 years are all money related... And now, she's facing her toughest days in life, all I can do is banking in some money for her...
Thanks to those whom is reading, though there might not be any...
Thanks.
Timz
